The sun sets, and twilight appears, heralding the ascendancy of night.

That is what you are to me. Shadow of my heart: neither light nor dark, but a part of and apart from both. You are the grey, the ghost that haunts the sub-rosa world of my mind. You are that phantom that I can almost see in the corners of my eyes as I turn.

As darkness falls, I see that I am truly possessed.

You rule my memories, pulling me into the past. I can still feel the pain in the scars your touches and bites gave me. I must confess that despite myself, I relish it. Reality and fantasies blur in the wounds you inflicted, and I’ve been swept away, like flotsam in a maelstrom of love and hate for you.

There is a tai-fung behind my smile.

I have been devoured by you.

And then discarded. I sought an escape in sleep, but even that was denied me. My dreams have been your playground, and you are a terrible child, my darling. One would think that you’d discard a toy after you have broken it……

And so, I must exorcise you.

You pierce the fabric that separates my mind and body, connected to me through that part of me that I left behind with you, as if you have a voodoo doll. You are therefore at the back of my mind, like an alter-ego, or a manifestation of my sins, Your presence is a possible penance, and I will not lose, to myself or you.

Then I will be free.

Birds with broken wings can and will still fly again. This hurricane I’m in is but a thermal updraft, and I am a phoenix. Stay in the past, demon-goddess, where you can be forgotten in the back of my mind.

Inspired by DVSN’s “Hallucinations”.


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